Things to do in Key West

In this episode

A Christmas-Day drop! The Golden Boys tackle the great debates of cruise etiquette — formal night, deck-chair hogging — before Tom rolls out a packing top-10 that includes his single most controversial tip: bring your own toilet paper. Then it’s off to their shared favorite port, Key West, for golf carts, six-toed Hemingway cats, Kermit’s legendary key lime pie, and one unforgettable sighting of a pink Darth Vader. It all wraps with an improvised holiday carol you didn’t know you needed.

What they covered

Topics on deck

Don’t miss

Moments worth the wait

• The download prophecy — Tom sets ambitious expectations for the young show.

  “I see four downloads. Four hundred downloads!” — “Well it has had a couple zeros in the front of it instead of in the back.”

• The skeet-golf merger — Trevor’s plan to fix golf balls in the ocean escalates beautifully.

  “You hit the golf ball and then the skeet shooter tries to shoot it.” — “So the golf ball is the clay pigeon.” — “Yes.”

• The most controversial packing tip — Tom stands firmly by BYO toilet paper.

  “It rips skin off your bum… especially if you get in the pool afterwards.”

• Key West, as only Key West can be — a local’s tale from behind Hemingway’s house.

  “Spider-Man running down the street fighting Darth Vader who was all in pink.”

• The snorkel confession — Trevor learns a hard truth in Grand Cayman.

  “Those are for losers. And I quickly found out I’m a loser.”

• Kermit’s key lime devotion — Trevor freshly squeezes key limes every year to recreate the recipe, and floats a fishing-excursion business with a very honest résumé — “80 years of experience combined, of doing other things” (in really small lettering).