Thomas Kennedy's Vista Review

In this episode

The Golden Boys are reunited and Tom’s back from the field with a full week’s review of the Carnival Vista — Galveston to Roatan, Belize, and Cozumel, with his mother in tow. It’s a proper day-by-day: embarkation and facial recognition, ship-layout gripes, casino comps, the Cheers package, and one silent white party Tom calls the best thing he’s ever seen. Charlie’s Roatan tour delivers in person, a Belize tender nearly doesn’t make it back, and the steakhouse redeems itself. Final verdict: ship 9.1, cruise 9.8 “ships on a stick.”

What they covered

Topics on deck

Don’t miss

Moments worth the wait

• The Razorback hog call — a 1,500-person cruise group, 80% Arkansas fans, letting one loose across the Lido deck.

  “Oh man, that was, ooh.”

• The silent white party — three headphone channels, dueling artists, and a stranger belting at the rail.

  “At one point there was Garth Brooks and Usher playing. I’m a musician. Do you know how much that hurt?”

• Charlie’s tour, in person — chocolate and rum-cake factories with cousin Odessa, plus a corrected shipwreck date.

  “We’re throwing shade at Royal Caribbean’s cruise port.”

• The dying Belize tender — a fifty-minute crawl back with smoke pouring out the whole way.

  “Puttin’… he can’t start it… a stream of oil… white smoke coming out the entire time. It takes us 50 minutes.”

• Steakhouse redemption — the cheesecake is back to full size and Tom is at peace.

  “They went back to the original size cheesecake. Oh, thank God.”

• Tom’s new nickname — a room steward said Tom looked mean, and it stuck.

  “I’m a teddy bear.” — “Whatever, Killer.”