Wild Kids on Carnival Ships

In this episode

The guys wade into Facebook's endless war on cruise-ship kids — and land somewhere surprisingly reasonable (spoiler: it's usually a parent problem). Between unruly-kid stories from the Breeze, BetMGM's new Carnival sportsbook, and a fond farewell to the retiring Ecstasy, they also keep an escalating honey-bun civil war on a low boil. Plus their favorite kid-free hack, which we will simply let you discover for yourself.

What they covered

Topics on deck

Don’t miss

Moments worth the wait

• Opening dad-joke crime — Trevor's late because of a flat tire, and he'd like the world to know why.

  “It was like $2.50 to get air in my tire. I guess that's due to inflation... If Carnival is looking for any comedians, I would like to submit this as my resume.”

• Their “unauthorized sponsor” — the reunion cruise gets a wink of a plug and no check to show for it.

  “Have we mentioned today's sponsor? ... Today's sponsor is the Family Reunion Group Cruise. It's an unauthorized sponsorship.”

• The measured take — knocked-on doors, a destroyed foosball table, a suspiciously refelted pool table — and a diagnosis.

  “That's less of a kid problem and more of a parent problem... if you look, the parents are doing the same thing.”

• The ultimate kid-free hack — a solution that comes with a warning label.

  “If you want a kid-free cruise on Carnival, look into the nude cruise. Two weeks of blissful no children... You might see some stuff you could never un-see.”

• Sportsbook riffing — the guys pitch their own prop bets for a Carnival sportsbook.

  “How many people will be in speedos at 5 p.m. on the serenity deck.”

• Ecstasy nostalgia — her lobby Rolls-Royce is being welded into the Celebration's Gateway zone, and Tom gets sentimental.

  “It got me into cruising.”