Carnival Testing Changes

In this episode

Carnival is loosening test requirements for many 5-day-and-under itineraries (a few ports like Grand Cayman and Bermuda still hold out), and a freshly-recovered Trevor is here to report that yes, COVID is in fact real. From there the trio spirals into a Jamaica nickel-and-dime saga, a Dateline-style plan to sting the port trinket cartel, and some genuinely unhinged whale news. The FRGC is nearly sold out — grab a room before the “tickle-me-Elmo” rush.

What they covered

Topics on deck

Don’t miss

Moments worth the wait

• COVID is real, apparently — Trevor finally catches it and the guys pin the blame with zero evidence and full confidence.

  “You got it from Vegas showgirls, so I'm going to say it was six times.”

• The Jamaica shakedown — pay for the beach, then the chair, then the umbrella, then the conch guy who may never have produced a conch.

  “Did he even take the conch out of the shell? ... I never saw it again.”

• “Smoke, smoke” — Trevor obliviously turning down a very-much-not-cigarettes offer until Megan had to translate for him.

  “I don't smoke cigarettes, man.”

• “To Catch a Distributor” — a proposed Dateline-style sting on the “I made this this morning” trinket sellers, with Reese assigned the release forms and a very generous raise.

  “Whatever you're making now — double it.” “Zero doubled is zero.”

• Homicidal humpbacks — a whale swallows and spits out two kayakers, another lands on a fishing boat, and a new survival philosophy is born.

  “Stay safe out there. Taste bad.”

• Sockpuppet defense — Tom's burrito ranking gets defended under an alt account, allegedly.

  “You can't prove it was me.”