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Who better to review Carnival's kids' programs than the kids who grew up in them? Tom's nephew and niece — gold-card veterans Trent and Addy “Granny” Hayes, with about seven cruises between the two of them — deliver the definitive insider tour of Camp Ocean, Circle C, Club O2, and Night Owls. Along the way: a Shirley Temple challenge, a foosball-rights movement, poll results, and the story of how an 11% discount briefly destroyed the merch store.
What they covered
Topics on deck
Camp Ocean
Circle C & Club O2
Night Owls
Water-slide rankings
Poll results
Merch-store meltdown
Shirley Temple challenge
Working on a ship
Don’t miss
Moments worth the wait
- The 11% incident — Tom set a 10% discount, Trevor logged in and one-upped him, and the platform shut the whole store down within hours.
“I thought it was funny to offer a better discount than he did.”
- The kids'-dinner exposé — a roped-off buffet section that looks like a crime scene, and chocolate milk forced on the lactose-intolerant.
“It looks like a crime scene.”
- The Shirley Temple gauntlet — Addy challenges Philip Barmore's record of 12 in a day.
“I'm going to drink more Shirley Temples in one hour than you can drink in one day.”
- Foosball-gate — a table destroyed beyond repair inspires a full advocacy movement.
“An advocacy group for foosball table rights — protection amongst all foosball brands, genres, every single table.”
- Trent's food manifesto — a golden, singular devotion to Guy's Burgers.
“Cover it in the little fry crisp things, slather it in barbecue sauce... dude, I'm golden.”
- Addy's five-year plan — cruise-ship hairstylist, and the logic is airtight.
“Free food every single day, why wouldn't I want to work on a cruise ship?”
In the guest chair
Special guests
🎤
Trent Hayes (18) — Tom's nephew and a gold-card veteran of roughly seven cruises who aged up through every Carnival kids' program; delivers the definitive Guy's-Burgers-only food manifesto.
🎤
Addy “Granny” Hayes (14) — Tom's niece, who earned her nickname as a toothless, bespectacled five-year-old at Camp Ocean; founder of the foosball-rights movement and Shirley Temple record-challenger.
Golden nuggets
Running bits & lore born here
- The 11%-discount meltdown — the merch store's one-day death, relaunched with a 12% “return discount” and a planned 1% anniversary discount.
- “Granny” Hayes — Addy's origin story enters the canon, complete with a later “re-grannification” via walker after a broken leg.
- Poll results — Guy's Burgers wins go-to food; Stegosaurus takes the dinosaur poll at 28%, beating write-ins like “your mom” and “a mermaid.”
- “Save the foosball tables” — Addy's advocacy movement gets appended to the sign-off.
- Blue-card caste, explained to the kids — the running gag that “blue card doesn't count as a person” gets passed to the next generation.