Press play
Listen to this episode
Plays here stream straight from our feed. Prefer your own app? Hit “Listen on Spotify,” or find us wherever you get your podcasts.In this episode
Batten down the hatches for a 14-minute Talk Like a Pirate Day fever dream. There's zero news and 100% bit: the crew stays fully in pirate character to roleplay a pirate-ship “cruise,” invent “piratecasting” (a parrot that flies your podcast to other pirate ships), review the walk-the-plank and sword-fight “events,” and file a formal refund complaint with pirating legend John Heald. Pure improvised nonsense — and a Podcastaways classic.
What they covered
Topics on deck
Talk Like a Pirate Day
Full pirate character
"Piratecasting"
Walk-the-plank review
Refund from John Heald
Pirate Book
Pirate foosball tables
Don’t miss
Moments worth the wait
- How to subscribe, pirate-style — a parrot repeats the whole show, and hitting “the button” on the parrot is how ye subscribe.
“You are looking for the Spotify button, where you are... That was a derrière button.”
- Walk-the-plank review — the crew reviews the plank event, spots a problem, and escalates straight to a refund demand from pirating legend John Heald.
“That plank is too long.” — “The British fellow, he's swimming away! Did anyone tie his feet down?”
- Captain Hooker's introduction — Reese debuts his pirate persona with a signature calling card.
“I'm known as the pirate with the big booty... I walk around and I give my booty away to anybody.”
- The eyepatch-as-toupee gag — the eyepatch finds a second use and the casino keeps getting mistaken for digestive noises.
“It fits like a glove! ... It's covering me poop deck.”
- Piratified sign-off — the closer gets a full swashbuckling makeover.
“Anything that happens on the poop deck stays on YouTube... Save the Pirate Foosball Table!”
Golden nuggets
Running bits & lore born here
- John Heald canonized — the Carnival ambassador is officially crowned “pirating legend,” a title the show keeps referencing.
- Captain Hooker is born — Reese's pirate alter ego returns next episode to court Betty and expand the show's love triangle.
- Pirate Book — Facebook becomes “Pirate Book” (pirate-book.com/carnivalcruisingpodcastaways) for the day.
- Yoda slippage — Trevor's pirate voice keeps drifting into Yoda — “You turned into Yoda again” — a recurring vocal gremlin.