What to do in Galveston.

In this episode

Reesegate goes nuclear: Reese opens with a formal conspiracy manifesto accusing his co-hosts of sabotaging his audio to rig the funniest-host narrative. Once the lizard-Illuminati flourishes settle down, the crew delivers their most practical episode yet — a genuinely useful Galveston port guide covering Seawall hotels, flat-rate shuttles, the pier with a bar on top, festivals, and which tourist traps to skip. Plus hurricane-season reassurance and part one of Reese's Queen Elizabeth history segment.

What they covered

Topics on deck

Don’t miss

Moments worth the wait

• Reesegate is declared — Reese reads a formal statement alleging his co-hosts rigged the poll, complete with a full conspiratorial detour and a plea for a welfare check.

  “It's a conspiracy against me... Wake up, sheeple — Bigfoot is real and he's married to the queen of the lizard Illuminati. Sorry, I blacked out there for a second.” — “Dear listeners, if I am not on next week's episode, please send someone to check on me.”

• The Galveston playbook — arrive a day early, stay on Seawall Blvd (with the $1 Seawall bus), take the flat-rate Galveston Express airport shuttle (~$30/person) over surge-priced Ubers, hit the fishing pier with the bar on top, catch Dickens on the Strand — and avoid the Rainforest Cafe.

  “You'd be drinking away and see everybody below you catching fish.”

• The webcam prank — Trevor's favorite Galveston tip is the ice-cream-shop webcam at 21st & Seawall — perfect for flipping off your relatives from a thousand miles away. Watch out for the stinking sargassum seaweed.
• Slippery Mayan ruins — answering an excursion question about rain-soaked ruins, Trevor lands on a very Podcastaways line of reasoning.

  “If I fell and died, would that be kind of like a human sacrifice?” — “Only if someone pushes you.” — “Should I push someone? I felt obligated suddenly.”

• The Waffle House review — the food gets a rave, the service does not.

  “The food was actually really good... don't go because the service was insane. We tried to joke with her. We were dead to her.”

• Queen Elizabeth, part 1 — Reese honors the late Queen with the 1938 Cunard Queen Elizabeth — the largest riveted ship ever and a WWII troop ship — capped by a zombie-tangent about the Umbrella Corporation.