Galveston Getaways: The Best (and not best) Hotels on the Island

In this episode

The boys rank Galveston's hotels "by monies," cheapest to priciest, and the tour takes a horror-comedy turn at the $39 Rosenberg Motel before climbing to the grand Hotel Galvez. Along the way: a man-overboard follow-up that only gets stranger, Tom's roundup of genuinely stupid cruise questions, and — finally — the full kraken-submarine proposal plan told at last.

What they covered

Topics on deck

Don’t miss

Moments worth the wait

• The Rosenberg Motel saga — $39/night, four parking spaces for 20 rooms, newspaper in the windows, and a check-in handled by "a woman in a hammock" who was "75% sure" an employee. Trevor texted friends a warning.

  "If you never hear from us again, search there first."

• Rankings by monies — Rosenberg earns one money ("she was great and that is all that was good about it"); the Beachcomber Inn, Beachfront Palms, and Hotel Galvez climb the ladder. Tom throws in a Texas-shaped waffle maker highlight.

  "I get to destroy Texas every time."

• Reese's lodging history — A humble entry in the annals of accommodation.

  "I once slept in a Peterbilt delivering for Family Dollar."

• Man-overboard, now weirder — The swimmer won an air-guitar contest and a free drink before vanishing, woke in the water with no memory, was found after ~20 hours, and now has a $10k GoFundMe — and Trevor the CJ major smells something off.
• Franken-Roomba — Asked about bringing a Roomba aboard, Tom unspools his robot-vacuum lore: he's on Roomba #6 and built a Franken-Roomba from three dead ones.

  "After the incident with the dog droppings... my Roomba needs a vacation."

• The kraken proposal, finally — Tom's pitch for Trevor's engagement involved a submarine snatching Trevor off the stern mid-proposal with a kraken claw.

  "I decided not to get murdered that day."