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The crew takes you to Roatan without a tour guide to sugarcoat it — the zip line that’ll stop your heart, a sloth named Grandma, pickpocketing monkeys, and one truly unforgettable run-in with a tropical bird’s digestive system. Equal parts travel guide and cautionary comedy, with intern Gary getting the standing ovation he’s earned.
What they covered
Topics on deck
Cheers price increase for short sailings
Celebration Key on Grand Bahama
The 12 ships slated to visit
A jaw-dropping John Heald reader question
Roatan & Mahogany Bay
The zip line to the beach bar
AJ’s monkey-and-sloth
Charlie’s private island tours
Don’t miss
Moments worth the wait
- Book it now — the drink-package deadline hook.
“you got less than 24 hours to book your damn stuff… it is increasing in price.”
- Celebration Key reveal — Carnival’s $200 million Bahamas resort.
“Carnival has opened 400 cruises to their new Bahamas port… celebration key… It’s a $200 million resort.”
- The Heald-question outrage — a reader asking the unthinkable.
“This person is asking if there’s 15 or 16 year old child can get a waiver to drink at the bars… That’s a child welfare referral waiting to happen.”
- The zip line to the beach bar — higher than it looks.
“there is an excursion sold by carnival that is a zip line that goes from the mountain all the way to that beach bar… you don’t realize how high up in the air you are.”
- A sloth named Grandma — AJ’s monkey-and-sloth wins Trevor’s heart.
“I got that old, a sloth… Her name was grandma. And I absolutely loved it.”
- The infamous bird incident — Trevor’s cautionary tale.
“one took a dump on me… I had to go into the bathroom and basically take a shower in the sink… the whole back of it was just tons of poop.”
- Cheap-eats gem — the beach-bar grill delivers.
“they’re grilling chicken and getting red beans and rice… it’s like really freaking cheap… it was like 10 bucks.”
Golden nuggets
Running bits & lore born here
- Intern Gary’s ovation — the crew “applauds our new intern,” thanks Gary for scouring the internet for a photo, and closes asking listeners to “congratulate our new intern Gary… he is a very hard worker.”
- Reese callback — the affectionate “Reese was a better intern” nod to co-host Reese Schrimsher.
- “Getting strange” — the hosts try to reclaim a slang word, then discover its Urban Dictionary meaning live on air (“Megan, don’t look this up”).
- Fat Tuesdays Wi-Fi — the universal password bit returns.
- #WheresThomas — the running gag surfaces again, alongside jingo jeans and chain-wallet nostalgia.
- The sign-off holds — “anything that happens on the ship stays on YouTube.”