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Plays here stream straight from our feed. Prefer your own app? Hit “Listen on Spotify,” or find us wherever you get your podcasts.In this episode
A contraband French press, a cyclone crashing Jenn's Wi-Fi, and Gary Manning quietly dropping the best dad joke of the season — all in service of one burning question: are short Carnival cruises really that wild? (Spoiler: it's a Miami thing.)
What they covered
Topics on deck
Confiscated French press
Carnival banned-items list
Cyclone Alfred
Australian listenership
SpeakPipe from Brandon
Veteran-cruiser habits
Short Miami cruises
Don’t miss
Moments worth the wait
- Cold-open confidence — Tom opens the show with a rock-solid self-assessment.
“I'm still super pretty. Okay, looking, middle-ages. I'm sexy. I don't care what anyone says.”
- The coffee saga — a guest escalated their confiscated French press all the way to John Heald, and the crew confirm the appliance really is a no-go aboard.
“ruined our experience we had been looking forward to for many months”
- Gary Manning's clean win — Gary lands the episode's big laugh with a pristine dad joke about statehood, and the crew rightly crown him.
“we would have 53 states and we would be indivisible”
- Saluting the Aussies — shoutouts to the growing Australian fanbase (Tim, plus new listener Brad Taylor) come with a running plea to prove it via SpeakPipe.
“That's not a knife. This is a knife.”
- The verdict on short cruises — the crew conclude the party-boat rep is really a port problem, not a length problem.
“[if] you want a quieter time, don't pick Miami.”
Golden nuggets
Running bits & lore born here
- “Well done, Mr. Manning” — the crew's formal coronation of Gary's dad joke, a warm little award the show hands out whenever he lands one.
- Home-port loyalty talk — the recurring debate over Galveston, Tampa, New Orleans, Mobile, Charleston, and Brownsville, complete with the passport-vs-birth-certificate disembark lines.
- The library nude-art photo — the infamous callback where Trevor unknowingly posed in front of a wall of nude art.
- Megan's “book” — the running gag that Trevor's wife is writing a book on his friendships and suspects half the crew is imaginary.
- Jenn's Hawaii countdown — the season-long ticker, this week signing off with, “303 days until I am sailing on the Ruby Princess on my way to Hawaii. See you suckers.”