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Plays here stream straight from our feed. Prefer your own app? Hit “Listen on Spotify,” or find us wherever you get your podcasts.In this episode
Trevor and Tom ring in 2026 with a field guide to not being that cruiser — from muster-drill duty to deck-chair squatters to the bridge crew who can see you in the dark — while Jenn karaokes her way across the Pacific without them.
What they covered
Topics on deck
Cruise etiquette clinic
Muster-drill manners
Deck-chair & slot hogging
Ship time is law
Respecting the crew
Carnival under-18 curfew
Oceania goes adults-only
Viking 18-and-older
Don’t miss
Moments worth the wait
- Fifty and done with it — fresh out of his busy season, Tom firmly declines the “six-seven” kid gesture.
“Dude, I turned 50 this year. I don’t do that anymore.”
- A souvenir that pays off later — Trevor’s Hawaii cousins send an unexpected snack that becomes a two-episode runner.
“They brought me some ahi tuna jerky… it was teriyaki flavored.”
- Softies on the curfew crackdown — Carnival’s $500 fine and lifetime-ban threat draws the crew’s sympathy.
“a lifetime ban is a little harsh for that… he’s a teenager for crying out loud.”
- Tom’s grievance segment — the target is Trevor’s AI-video habit, hair and height included.
“Trevor needs to learn how to do AI better. Or just stop completely.”
- The etiquette gold — the line that anchors the whole theme, plus the deck-chair “entrepreneur” selling saved loungers for $20.
“ship time is law. If you’re late, the ship will not be late.”
- The closing warning — cameras are everywhere, including the bridge crew watching the dark forward decks — landing the “don’t be that cruiser” theme.
Golden nuggets
Running bits & lore born here
- Trevor’s AI vanity videos — the hair, the extra height, and a solo “deck party for one” wired to the bridge — Tom’s favorite thing to needle.
- The platinum-card necklace — the gag doubles down now that VIFP status is sunsetting.
- Ruining “John’s” week — the recurring threat to post everything online returns.
- Missing Jenn — her absence on the Princess Hawaii cruise is “terribly” mourned all episode long.
- The closer — the New Year’s first show still signs off, “anything that happens on the ship stays on YouTube.”