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Plays here stream straight from our feed. Prefer your own app? Hit “Listen on Spotify,” or find us wherever you get your podcasts.In this episode
Half Moon Cay trades its tenders for a shiny new pier while a Carnival data breach and a hard-to-hear excursion story keep things grounded — then Trevor's brand-new “Free Cruise” game unleashes Patricia the seagull and a nine-deck bathroom marathon. Warm, weird, and wonderfully off the rails.
What they covered
Topics on deck
RelaxAway Half Moon Cay
Carnival data breach
“Free Cruise” game
Sun Cay excursion story
Brandon's SpeakPipe
Reese-in-the-basement hoax
FRGC4 countdown
Don’t miss
Moments worth the wait
- “Let us cook” — the cold open sets the tone and immediately teases the crew's forever-running weekly-schedule disclaimer.
“we do intend to do this weekly.”
- RelaxAway opens its pier — the tender-only island gets a ribbon-cutting, an island tram to Bar One through Six, and a burger joint — with one worry.
“I don't think they made that pier long enough… people are going to be walking back drunk.”
- The Carnival data breach, handled straight — the crew walks through what was exposed and how to stay safe.
“it affected six million people, but of those six million people, the eight hundred thousands were Texans.”
- The scam warning — a practical PSA: hang up on anyone claiming to be Carnival asking for payment, and verify through your PVP or your own account.
- The “Free Cruise” game debuts — built with Madison and modeled on the “million-dollar butt” game, it births Patricia the door-opening seagull and Tom's deck-climbing fate.
“you accidentally in the best shape of your life and memorize every deck plan.”
- A sober excursion story — the hosts soberly cover a young woman who lost both legs on a Carnival-approved Sun Cay Beach Club excursion and is suing for negligence, stressing that riders should check third-party review sites even when booking through the ship.
Golden nuggets
Running bits & lore born here
- Reese in the basement — with Reese off-mic, the crew revives the long-running “he's trapped in the basement” hoax before landing a genuine, affectionate “We miss you, Reese.”
- “We swear we'll go weekly” — the recurring disclaimer the show can never quite live up to, teed up again in the cold open.
- Patricia the seagull — instant “Free Cruise” lore: the door-opening seagull born the moment the game went live.
- Weekend at Bernie's, at sea — the film reference escalates into a full “Bernie goes on a cruise” pitch, with Christopher Lloyd and Danny DeVito as dream taxi drivers.
- Brando's next voyage — a SpeakPipe from Brandon (“Brando”), 24 days out from a rare intentional New York-to-Canada sailing on Carnival Venezia — the crew immediately requests a “thorough, detailed” review.
- The countdown & sign-off — 107 days to FRGC4, a JDR3 Princess plug, and the trademark “anything that happens on the ship stays on YouTube” plus “Save the foosball tables.”